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Guest post from Martie L. Moore, RN, MAOM, CPHQ, CNO, Medline
Can you really achieve balance between your work and your life? To quote Shakespeare, “That is the question.”
Some specialists argue that you never actually achieve balance between the two pulls of your focus and energy; balance is something that you instead, continually pursue. By accepting that you never fully achieve a balance, you are then better able to cope with the competing areas that demand your attention. Think of a playground seesaw: It’s never 100% perfectly balanced and level. One side goes up while the other side goes down, demonstrating that there is always give and take necessary to make it work.
I have a dear friend who is the queen of the work / life juggling act. When work is demanding, she lets up on the demands of her personal life. Then, she works to refocus back into her personal life and lets up on the demands of work. She laughingly calls it her endless cycle of living. She also has learned to give herself permission to let things go.
We all go to incredible lengths to take care of the important people in our lives. Drop everything, re-prioritize, re-arrange and make it work. When a family member, loved one or friend falls very ill or a visit suddenly reveals that they need more care and support than they have, it may feel as though their needs suddenly become your number one priority.
No matter how much you or other people are also doing for this person, providing care encompasses many different things and sometimes people think that they aren’t really caregivers unless the person is completely incapacitated. Many of my friends and patients feel they are (more…)
Whether you are heading to the doctor for a routine physical or you need a root canal from your dentist, it can be hard to loose your sense of apprehension and anxiety. Many people have a bit of a medical phobia, and though you are likely not going to run screaming into the streets, you probably could stand to be calmer. Consider these six ways to keep your fear of the medical profession check and to learn to relax
Many frightening things are a lot less fearful if you can bring along someone who is in your corner. Ask a friend to come with (more…)
The reality show, Hoarders provides a glimpse into the worlds of people with an anxiety disorder that manifests by their need to accumulate and surround themselves with things.
There is so much that is fascinating about this show, but one thing that surprises me every week is how attached these people are to worthless garbage. I’m not talking about mementos or things that we save from childhood. I’m talking about empty bottles, cans, packaging, and garbage.
I was watching a YouTube video of Robin Williams the other night, laughing so hard that I was crying and then after about 30 minutes, after seeing the sustained light-speed energy and immediate improvisational brilliance, I wondered if he could turn it off?
And then I wondered, what it would be like to live with him. Was he hilarious at breakfast, lunch and dinner? Could you have a normal heart to heart? Was he always on? What did his children and his family experience?
So, I asked some people who had known him since the 80’s and were still friends and after talking about his brilliance, acting, philanthropy and his comedic genius, they also talked about how hard it was for him and his family to live with his extreme swings in energy, the roller coaster of being bi-polar, the self-medication, and the whole spectrum of mental illness…..It’s complicated. (more…)
If you’re like me you probably have 2 or 3 different ones going at the same time. If you’ve located it, take a moment and look at it.
Just how long is your list?
Are you even on the list?
Are there any fun activities or relaxation time built in to your list?
And, if you say that walking the dog is relaxing, or that you can work while getting 12K steps on the treadmill, then girlfriend, you’re doing too much.
Multi-tasking is over-rated?
How is it that we have more time saving devices and more technology to help us do everything, and yet we’re busier than ever before with barely any time left to relax. (more…)
In the news recently, we learned that 2 former Navy Seals were found on the Maersk Alabama dead from apparent overdoses. The 2 men were working as security guards on the same ship that gained world-wide attention when Somali pirates hijacked it. Were their deaths from suicide and PTSD? It’s a questions that comes up because it’s the same ship that was featured in the movie Captain Phillips, starring Tom Hanks. It’s a devastating tragedy for their families no matter what happened or what led them to that particular place.
Could it have been PTSD?
Because of the high rates of suicide in our veterans, many of us are more and more alarmed at the price many of our servicemen and women are paying for the rest of us. Estimates are that Veterans are twice as likely to commit suicide as people who haven’t been in the military. For younger vets, the number of deployments was a factor as well as where they were sent. I have friends and family in the military and have heard from other clinicians who care for vets. It all adds up to a very big issue.
One of my friends is a former Navy Seal, who said that he felt that it was even harder for special forces to admit that they were struggling, because they were supposed to be the “elite.” All the recognition and special forces being the answer to so many problems that they didn’t want to admit to their own emotional scars with the tasks they were assigned. (more…)
This is a guest post by Gail Gaspar, MA, ACC, CPCC, a Certified Professional Coach and the Founder and CIO (Chief Inspirational Officer) of iDecide Coaching, LLC.
In muted conversations after yoga class, around the mahjong table and over coffee, stories confidential are ripe as autumn apples when it comes to certain family members.
For trusted ears only, we find ourselves willing to reveal negative attitudes not easily acknowledged or expressed about relatives who behave badly who will be part of our holiday celebrations.
We come face-to-face with sayings that seem like they were written just for us when we go in to preparation mode for the holidays. Adages like these:
It comes to my attention that, more than the shopping, food preparation, and home decorating, ONE thing takes up a lot of space and energy. That thing: how to keep from losing it—our decorum, our sense of self—in close quarters, in the company of family. (more…)
One of the most common reasons that teens come to an Emergency room is because they’ve harmed themselves. Sad, but tragically true. Unfortunately, this scenario becomes even more tragic, as the majority are not receiving the emergency mental health assessments that they need.
Marilee had 2 beautiful twin boys. They were born about 3 weeks early and were growing rapidly. As the months went on and the fog of caring for twins 24/7 started to lift, Marilee noticed that something seemed to be wrong with her precious babies. Neither one seemed to want to make eye contact with her and seemed to be disinterested in any interactions. She expected to hear cooing and some sounds, but they were unusually quiet except when crying, which seemed to happen after each meal.